No Rush…

2 06 2009

Why, yes, it has been well over a month since I said anything here.

I work six days a week, and my free time evaporates rather quickly.

What I have found since moving into the apartment and waiting for “the papers” that will one day finalize the divorce, is that for me, there is greater value in “unplugging” than monitoring the internet day and night for something, anything.

The title of this site wasn’t chosen at random. The Tao Te Ching speaks often of “activity that is actionless” and what is “done without doing”. Rushing water smoothing a stone is one such example. Water doesn’t try to do it, but by its nature – and thus the process it is party to – the stone eventually smooths over.

Magnets don’t try to attract metal.

Rain doesn’t try to fall from a cloud.

I do admit in a moment of sullen boredom to reviewing the would-be personal ads at Craigslist, and weeding out the bots and spam, the remaining “wheat” boiled down to this:

Women: “Are you my soul mate? Your pic gets mine. I’m so sick of the game players! Are you a real man? PIC REQUIRED!!!”

Men: “I pretty much want sex. I want you to want to have sex. Let me know and we’ll have sex.”

The real listings are about that length. My fake examples have much better spelling and syntax, and don’t say “ur” and “lol kthxbai”.

Prior to getting married, I had a pet theory that I’d meet “the one” doing something I enjoyed. I was thinking in terms of meeting at a concert, or out on the town, or similar, in that I wasn’t trying to meet “the one” but by virtue of common interests, the odds of meeting would improve.

I met my soon to be ex-wife online through an internet dating service. It claimed we were 22% compatible.

We lasted for just over 10 years.

I don’t know when, how, or if I will ever meet “the one”.

But it won’t be online, through a dating service.

And with any luck, we won’t try to find each other.

The search isn’t the challenge. It’s knowing when to stop.

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