Thoughts About the Movie “Lips of Blood”

23 09 2012

(Or, en français, Lèvres de Sang.)

Hoo boy. I need to lay off of the Netflix for a while. Or specifically lay off of what I can charitably call “Cinema Merde”. I was warned, I was told, I was advised, “don’t see this movie”. But too bad, free will is a thing, and now I get to write this lovely review. Sure, I could keep all this to myself, but there’s just so much WTF-ery involved here that I have to just shout it from the rooftops.

The again, unusually wordy synopsis (what the hell, Netflix, decide on synopsis length!):

French horror fantasist Jean Rollin directed this surreal, erotic vampire tale in which Pierre has recurrent dreams of an ancient mansion and a ghostly woman in white. When one day Pierre sees an advertisement with a picture of the mansion from his dreams, he tracks down the photographer. Soon, Pierre finds himself in a coven of beautiful women who live in the dark edges of Paris and drink human blood to survive.

So… sexy vampire ladies then?

Spoilers follow, but you know you want them. You want them so bad.

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Occupy Sesame Street

3 11 2011

I was checking out YouTube videos recently, and was pleased to discover that the Children’s Television Workshop (CTW) appears to have relented in their quest to ban all Sesame Street snippets from the site, and instead posted the items with their official branding. Bravo.

However, I was troubled by the following video:

(Click here if video is not displayed)

On the surface, it seems like a harmless PSA for smoke detectors, by way of the Twiddlebugs who live in Ernie’s flower box.

But look closer, and see why the 99% of us who grew up watching Sesame Street should be outraged about this 1% of the branded offerings on YouTube:

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Fugue for WNBA Draft Picks

1 12 2009

It’s never too early to obsess over the 2010 WNBA draft, if Rebkell’s Junkie Boards are any indication. “Fugue for Tinhorns” from Guys and Dolls played in my head as I read the idle speculation, which led me to adapt it to the proceedings:

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Trash Talk This

4 09 2009

The web, uh, comic? Strip? Project? Thingy? A Softer World asked, “what kind of person talks trash during a chess game?”

(Click here for the strip and answer.)

Well, the correct answer is, “me and the other bozos that worked at Panasonic in the mid 1990s.”

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Caption Contest

14 06 2009

While you (whoever you are) wait for me to sort, cull, resize, touch up, and/or/otherwise doctor the photos from last night’s New York Liberty/San Antonio Silver Stars game, have a wild time captioning this photo:

 

 

It's Fuzzy Bunny time...!

It's Fuzzy Bunny time...!

My contribution: “Hey, isn’t that the guy who tried to ‘friend’ you on Facebook? Want me to take him out?”





Donatello

20 04 2009

Here’s all you need to know: I’m in the process of getting divorced.

More on that story later.

I had to get that out of the way to explain why I was out looking at apartments recently. The search was interesting, insofar as I am seeking out the upside in an otherwise rotten situation. Back in the Chicago area, deposits are typically first and last month’s rent. In the Dallas area, it’s roughly $99 plus some tacked on fees.

There’s that silver lining again.

One management group I ruled out immediately is called AMLI. They’re like the Wal-Mart of apartment companies. I don’t doubt that they’re nice (albeit pricey) apartments, but the whole place comes off as corporate, man. I don’t like the idea of living in the apartment version of a Homeowner’s Association-controlled subdivision.

(I would wave them off as “cookie-cutter”, but like, duh.)

AMLI was off the menu until I relented one day and checked out the floor plans online. They had names like “Rafael”, “Donatello”, and “Michelangelo”.

AMLI was on the search list, grudgingly. The apartment was on the high end of my budget, but as I told the leasing agent, I simply had to check out any place that names their floor plans after Ninja Turtles.

The agent’s eyes widened as I made that quip.

“They are, aren’t they?”

“Well, yes, but I’m sure they’re named after artists.”

“When I got hired I told my boss they were Ninja Turtle names, and he told me never to say that to prospects.”

“Yeah, let them bring it up first. It’s OK if we do it.”

The apartment was nice and had an attached garage, but I couldn’t justify the expense. That was gonna be a lot of overtime to ensure ends were met each month.

Besides, it’s AMLI, man. They’re the Wal-Mart of apartments.